Hey Conference People -- Where's My Coffee?

So, have you ever been at a conference that goes on all day and requires mass amounts of coffee to survive? I am at one of those events right now. And at about 3:00 p.m. yesterday, I left the main room to refill my cup. Low and behold there were a mountain of cups but no more coffee decanters. Please explain to me the reason to ever remove the coffee from the lobby area. Later in the afternoon the coffee decanters magically re-appeared, but the damage was done -- lack of coffee crankiness had set in.

I realize that many people don't drink coffee after a certain time in the morning. However, there are also many of us who need to mainline it throughout the day in order stay upright. All I am saying is... help a brother out and keep the coffee flowing all day long.

Finally, I am back from vacation and over my post-vacation illness, so I hope to begin a series of posts throughout the weekend and into next week about my Kona coffee experiences on the Big Island. Please keep me on your radar until then.

Really Starbucks? Gold Card is For Fools

In 2009, Ms. Darkroasted and I paid $25 each to become Starbuck's Gold Card members and reap the benefits of this exclusive club. For our money, we received 10 percent off of all our purchases from drinks to beans to merchandise. It was a great deal for high volume users like my family. As we cracked 2010, I received my updated card in the mail. It was shiny and had my name personalized on it once again making me feel special. Then the truth ripped the shine right off that worthless piece of plastic.

Gone! Gone was my 10 percent discount. Under the new plan,  I get some peripheral perks and after every 15 drinks I get a freebie. This hurts a little bit. I mean, anyone who knows me is aware that I am a leading spokesperson for Starbucks. And now, I am left to swim in the same pool as the unwashed masses.

I have to hand it to the Starbucks marketing department. Here was the explanation for those of us who became members back when this perk mattered:

"To our dear early adopters of Starbucks Gold...  You made 2009 a great year, and you showed us that a rewards program was exactly what you wanted from Starbucks. As a special thanks, we're inviting you into the Gold Level of My Starbucks rewards."

Let me translate for you:  "Dear existing Gold member. Wow, you really took us for a ride with that discount. I mean, whew, we couldn't afford that for another year if we tried. So here are some nice words and we are going to hope that this prose and this new shiny card with your name on it will confuse you into forgetting the perks are all gone."

Message received.

$1 Coffee and Skiing

One thing I love about traveling is enjoying the simple things along the way. For example, this morning Mrs. Darkroasted and I took Tiny Roast up the mountain for his second skiing lesson in the last three days. We figured it was time for him to learn (he is 3 and a half you know.) As we sat in the lodge surveying the picturesque landscape and lightly falling snow, I sipped on warm coffee and listened to the sounds of the lodge as people slowly began to start the day. Was the coffee good, well... no. But as I have said many times, it is sometimes as much about atmosphere as it is the brew.

This was $1, all you can drink coffee served by the friendly staff at Great Divide Ski Resort and through the window I could watch a poor young man try to convince by stubborn son that sliding down the hill with these boards strapped to his feet was a good idea. Yes, the simple things are nice.

Calling All Dunkin Donuts Haters: This Ain't Right for the Holidays

Last night I sat with my family just enjoying a little TV when it happened -- I sat through that apocryphal commercial suggesting that Dunkin' Donuts coffee beans would be a good gift for that someone you love this Christmas. Seriously? This gift does not say love to me. It says, "Hey Uncle Frank, I realize you don't have any taste buds so here is some coffee you might enjoy."

If I want a tasty cruller or an old-fashioned, I am there with you Dunkin' Donuts. But guess what, you can't just grab some cruddy beans and pretend like you are providing a gourmet coffee experience. Dunkin Dark? Is this for real? It kind of reminds me of my hatred for the McCafe coffee experience. If your taste buds are shot, feel free to click here and order your Dunkin Dark today.

These businesses need to stick to what they do well. Ever tasted a Starbucks pastry? It is not very tasty. But you know what, the coffee is perfect every time. I know that many American's like their Dunkin coffee, I just do not know why.

NOTE: John C, I hope you are having your Christmas Party again this year. We will be there and I know you will be serving the very coffee I have just eviscerated. Please don't hold it against me. The truth is, I will drink any coffee that is brewed if there are no other options. I look forward to your response to this post.

McDonalds Coffee? I Think Not

These pictures are a snapshot of coffee from McDonald's in the old days and the premium roast brew that you can purchase fast-food style today. Can you see the difference between the two?

That's right, they put a semi-fancy cup on one. I love McDonalds, or Old McDonalds as my son calls it. You want good fries? It's the place to go. Care for a heart-attack burger with a mystery sauce that I am pretty sure is Thousand Island dressing? This is the spot. This is where my love ends and my disdain is ever growing for a coffee abomination that should not continue.

Calling this fast-food icon a destination spot for good coffee is like me suggesting H&R Block is a great place to get your tires rotated.

In a recent article, the new CEO of Starbucks Howard Shultz said, "McDonald's made us better." See story here. Howard, you have to stop it. You cannot compare your beloved chain with McDonald's. It cheapens us all. Just calling coffee a premium roast and putting it in a McCafe doesn't make it good. Unfortunately, the masses don't necessarily agree with me.

A recent Chicago Tribune story reports:

"Year to date through October, McDonald's overall U.S. coffee sales are up 28 percent over the same time a year ago, and more than 90 percent of that gain stems from McCafe drinks, Thompson said. Those drinks include all hot and iced espresso-based beverages, as well as hot chocolate."


Come on America, this is not premium. Please stop the madness and make it all go back to the way it used to be where coffee didn't come with a side of fries -- unless you were really desperate. 


What's your opinion? Drop me a comment.